03 – The Story of Marriage | GodsVineyard.net

Introduction
Welcome back to God’s Vineyard dear friends – the place of peace, joy, and rest amidst His presence, as our souls continuously get revitalized – day in, day out! Thank you for visiting again and taking the time to read through truth’s perspective, allowing Wisdom and Holy Spirit to further enrich us with abundance of reinvigorating water straight from the Tree of Life! As we dive deeper into Papa’s ocean of love today, I challenge you to open up your heart and allow His goodness to wipe out all negativity, fear, lack, offense, and confusion. Today’s read is lengthy, but it’s worth it, as God’s glory shines through the goodness He has for you to walk in. Let’s dive in!

Furnace Molding
As a crash course and to bring everyone back up to speed, let’s briefly review the first two articles. In the FIRST article we discussed how in today’s world we’ve been painted a picture that marriages are all fine and dandy and spouses got things figures out, but truthfully, they’re full of challenges, difficulties, and frustrations. We learned that conflicts are a “normal” experience of life and we must discover how to work through them properly, via communicating with each other while learning to co–labor as partners – since our struggle is not against each other, not against flesh and blood; but rather against the wicked deceiver who constantly plants negative thoughts, feelings, and circumstances in and around us in order to ultimately cause pain to God. We must therefore lift up our eyes and remember the True God which led our forefathers into and all the way through the wilderness, and all kinds of trials. We are not to setup permanent residence in the desert along this journey, for God doesn’t settle for anything less than the best, so we too must keep pressing into Him.

Transformational Lifestyle
In the SECOND article we discussed that when trials hit, we often ask ourself “who am I?”. Do we consider that many of the greatest people in the world are actually the most broken folks, because they’ve never learned how to receive love? To be intimate, we must jump into love and change, and we have to let goof the fear of change and loss of control, and discover how to be close and connect to each other. But this is very uncomfortable and indeed very painful, as we face our biggest enemy of all: FEAR. For the enemy has one goal in mind, and that is “to disrupt our intimacy with God, thus with one another”.

We so often see our own flaws, forgetting the reality of WHY Grace showed up in the first place, as no true love is conditional. But since all of us are just so very broken, we’ve taken on false identities and put up a circus show. We faced the question: “what are you willing to change in your heart and lifestyle to achieve true meaningful intimacy?” For we must be able to hold compassion in one hand and justice in the other, offering them both, as we address our own soul pains first. Stop trying to fix or control the other person, for only God can penetrate a miserable heart.

Perverted Cultural and Worldly Views
We discussed how we must lose the taste and perverted concept of romance in the drama that Hollywood portrayed to us, which is false passion and only births disappointment and loneliness, since in fantasy romance there is no risk, therefore no thrill, rather only just a cheap sugar high. There is no space for character transformations which only come as we face the fiery furnaces of life head–on. All relationships are meant to enable us to reach our goals and assist us from investing too much energy in the glutinous idols of self–absorption.

Deceptions of Control
We discussed how Real love stories have participants, since love is ever–morphing. The reason we all lust after a rich fantasy experience is partially because it gives us a sense of control, but we must realize that our spouse is himself/herself, with their own desires, wants, and passions, and there is nothing I can do to control them. Therefore, any form of false perception (deception) ultimately destroys intimacy! That’s because intimacy is based on trust, but any form of manipulation, control, lies, or deception kills all trust so we must recognize that manipulation IS our enemy!

Very brief recap of the 5 categories of manipulation manifestations.

Judging – takes place when people judge others so that the other depends only on the judge, who is “always right” and who lords it over people to maintain authority and power (control).
Score Keeping – is when somebody starts keeping score in a relationship, keeping tabs and calling in favors when they want to control you.
False Hero – manipulate by leading people to believe they have something better to offer than they really do. Usually too good to be true scenarios.
Fear Mongering – The deadliest and most dangerous of the manipulators as they make people suffer the consequences of noncompliance: “if you don’t submit to me, I’ll make your life a living hell”. They establish their dominance to get comfort from dominating the weak, overemphasizing the concept of loyalty.
Drama Queen/King – someone who overdramatizes their “victimhood” in order to gain sympathy and attention, obtaining resources from their mate by faking emotional injuries in order to gain control by making you feel guilty about what you’ve done. They are not interested in any reconciliation, rather control.

Pulling Out the Log from My Own Eye
We touched on this for two reasons: first to recognize which of these personality traits are in our own selves and take appropriate responsible steps to surround ourself with truthfully Godly and Wise counsel who can faithfully sow and assist in the healing process of your relationship, rather than gossiping (out of pain) to that guy or girlfriend who will side with us, for the Lord teaches us to side with Truth and Wisdominstead of relying on facts or feelings.

Secondly, to consider deeply if you are willing to continue further into this thing called marriage, for its purpose IS to enlarge you, mature you, and prosper you. Can you give up your dreams to merge them with hers/his and be content? Learn to hold your tongue, realize that life is more about connection with people than it is about competing with them, winning or always being right! Learn to preemptively forgivewhen someone attacks you, recognizing that they attack out of fear. Take notice that the greatest leadersare somehow able to turn the other cheek, for they so solidly believe in love and truth, that they have the supernatural ability to forgive (which stems from intimacy with Holy Spirit).

Healthy Family Dynamics
We discussed how to establish core values in a family and to intentionally start living for your family so that the next generation may grow up healthy, wise, and become strong leaders. Be the parents who are honest about your shortcomings, for vulnerability and honesty act as the rich soil that fosters security, creating an environment in which the children are allowed to be human. Practice the process of confession and the asking of forgiveness of your spouse and your children, in front of each other. Recognize that the True God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness whatsoever – no hiding, no pretending, no masks. When you are with God, you have the power of freedom and courage to be yourself no matter how dark the truth may appear. Remember, these articles (God’s Vineyard) is all about intimacy, and real health only takes place when we are able to be known. Memorize it: honesty is the soil in which intimacy grows in – It’s OK to be human. Start ascending in your walk of life, focusing intentionally on what really matters, which ultimately gives each and every one of us that deep sense and true meaning of Life.

God’s Unique Beautiful Creation and Design of Humanity
We covered how God uniquely created men and women to do intimacy differently from one another, thus we must allow each other that unimposing opportunity to share with each other in order for true connection to grow and mature, being tender and loving towards our mates. Harmoniously choose a common pointon the horizon and start moving towards that point together, as relationships have a way of stabilizing when in motion. If we take the logs from the fire and lay them out separately, they will go out within an hour, thus we need each other to stay warm and healthy. Contribute something to the people around you and create an environment where healthy relationships can flourish.

God Instilled Groaning for Worship
Finally, wrapping up the second article, we encouraged you to comfort each other in and through those deep inner God longings, via love, realizing that only God can fulfill that deep inner longing for Him; don’t squeeze the Jesus out of your mate! Love each other through grace, appreciating that you have someone to share that inner longing with, walking it out hand in hand. For what else establishes a person but the living out of a story full of conflicts and transformations. It’s encouraging to watch what people will do to contribute to a true love story. Getting married is only the beginning of a much trickier adventure, a path in which two souls join in love and must have a necessity of self–crucifixion involved. Therefore, purifyyour hearts, leaving old shameful habits behind, digging deeper until you hit that foundational Rock. I invited you to adapt a new perspective and language, to freshly see and speak, creating ultimate beauty. Turn your focus on God and see yourself and your mate via His eyes, for only His truth reveals and establishes true healing, peace, joy, and thriving!

THE STORY OF MARRIAGE
Now that we’re caught up, today I invite you to take a journey with me deeper into God’s heart, in remembrance of the original plan, and understand His heart and desire regarding the story of marriage. You see, “Once upon a time, marriage was everlasting and forever: a commitment that weaved one man and one woman together, making them both nobler and stronger energetic beings and vibrant expressionsof who they were designed to be. They were better off together in union rather than being on their own, and the ceremonial night was but a beginning – the gateway to construct the experience of their happily ever after. Each choice and action they made was intended to construct the life which their union represented. Husband and wife ventured into the great unknown, having their hands, voices, and hearts interwoven in order to express the love of their Creator within each of them.”

How did we lose touch with this profound love story?
In our previous article we discussed the dangers of this world’s perspective via movies and novels regarding fantasy romance perversions. (FYI: guys are moved more via images, women via text, but we’ll cover this a bit later today.) What we must realize though, is that anything good that God created, gets perverted by the archenemy. The reality is, that truthfully – there does exist a story of romance. So how did we lose sight of this true romantic love story?

God – The Ultimate Creator & Designer
You see, God is the one who created marriage, it was His idea. He’s the creator, the only one who has the right to define it. It was initiated from within the depths of His fiery heart as He consulted Himself as the trinity, and in the creation account says “Let US create human beings, in OUR image, reflecting OUR nature.” (Genesis 1:26). Then in Malachi 2:15 He says “God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabitseven the smallest details of marriage. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse.” Then, as we progress to the New Testament (Covenant), we find James (Jesus’s younger brother) saying “You’re cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and His way. And do you suppose God doesn’t care? The proverb clearly mentions that “He’s a fiercely jealous lover for the spirit that lives in us.” And what He gives in love is far better than anything else you’ll find. It’s common knowledge that ‘God goes against the willful proud’ therefore fathom that God gives grace to the willing, humble heart.” (James 4:5)

Diligence in Fashioning
My brothers and dear sisters, we are created to tell a story to this fallen world, so we are strategically invited to therefore guard the “spirit” of the marriage. Why? Because the enemy is ferociously bombardingthis union and institution of marriage since the beginning of creation, and is not backing off! But in our poor upbringings and in the midst of a culture that strayed from God’s commandments and heart, we ourselves stumble, being ignorant and blind. Apostle Paul says “..it’s because of you that the name of God is blasphemed, by your lifestyles.” (Romans 2:24).

Jesus (and the entire good book) reveals to us that as we live and walk in the principles of God Almighty, our life experiences don’t come out smooth like butter. For this very purpose, Paul states that we have to “press in”, which requires diligence, might, endurance, commitment, in order to get into the ‘high call’. What does this mean to us? Ladies and gentlemen, this means that as we “press into” the higher call upon our lives and learn how to live out Godly designed relationships and marriages, there WILL BE opposition and resistance. Surprise! But because Hollywood and culture puts such an emphasis on “romance and feeling”, what occurs is: when we don’t find those lovey dovey feelings within us, (for your spouse of course), we do not press in, neither do we protect that what God created and instructed us to “guard”. But those who carry the name of Jesus should be the very first ones with the strongest and most fruitful marriages! What took place? What happened?

Peter strictly warns us in 1 Peter 4:17 saying “It’s judgment time for God’s own family. We’re first in line. It starts with us…” Then he goes on to encourage us and reveals Gods Glory, which is His manifested goodness in our lives, saying “So if you find life difficult because you’re doing what God said, take it in stride. Trust Him for He knows what He’s doing, and He’ll keep on doing it until full completion.” (MSG ver.)

Intent of Marriage
God does not have a fallen nature like man, and when He creates or designs something, He starts with the end in mind. Marriage is created and designed to “enrich one another”, and God not only made marriage, He actually has a very amazing plan for it. We must pause for a moment and grasp the following concept: before any ministry, institution, and the fall, God created and established a union called Marriage. For during the creation process we notice that All of creation was “good, good, good…” until man was created alone, and at this point we notice that it was not good! Not good that is until the wife was brought to Adam.

When the Pharisees taunt Jesus regarding divorce and marriage in heaven, He turns to them and says” Haven’t you read in your scrolls that in the beginning, the Creator originally made man and woman Foreach other, male and female He created them? And because of this a man therefore leaves father and mother and is Firmly Bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one. Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should dare to desecrate His art by cutting them apart.” (Matthew 19:4–6)

Marriage is Gods Art
Notice how marriage is defined and proposed as an art. Art is defined as “a diverse range of human activity and resulting product, that involves creative or imaginative talent expressive of technical proficiency, beauty, emotional power, and conceptual ideas.” WOW! Did you catch that? Let’s break that down. God, the one and only true creator of this universe and all omniverses, ultimately expressed His technical proficiency, beauty, emotional power, and conceptual idea/thought of relationship and union (which is defined as Oneness/Holiness) in the institution of Marriage, between one man and one woman, uniting them together, establishing the two uniquely different beings as ONE!

Different Yet One
Now here’s the tricky part – our differences make us one! Being different gives us the capacity, the capability to become one. Our differences is what unites us. This is an organic union, where two who are different have one heart, one purpose, one call, one path to follow. Remember earlier we mentioned that marriage is created and designed in order to “enrich one another”? Let me throw in some synonyms for a moment to allow this concept to unveil itself.

< Enrich, improve, develop, enhance, supplement, deepen! > selah…

Together, as one, we can accomplish anything. We can set a goal and aim for it harmoniously. We can support each other in all walks of life and face all struggles as one. “Two are better than one, for they support each other” scripture says. Then why are most marriages in intense heat facing conflicts, pains, and frustrations? If two are meant to support one another, why are the two dividing? Why are they separating at an alarming rate in today’s age? Why can’t we wait to get away from each other just to experience some form of peace? Why? Why aren’t spouses enhancing one another? Why isn’t intimacy deepening? Why, why?

Broken Attitudes and Hearts
Here’s why – it’s our heart issues which prevent us from protecting Gods art. Broken hearts. Broken from pain, rejection, offense, abandonment. Broken from world labeling and abuse. Broken from the journey of life. Brothers. Sisters. This is Not a new topic to humanity. We are All very broken and live in a broken world, broken system, broken perspectives that lead us further astray, broken leadership that feeds on control and manipulation out of their own lack, thus prolonging the brokenness further and further leading souls and nations into the ditch.

What do you suppose happens to a broken item in your household? What do you typically do when something breaks? Glassware for example. Or a vase. Or a toy. You get the picture. We toss it out. We throw broken things away and seek a new, a replacement. Thus, broken hearts are just as much always looking for reasons and ways OUT. Out of a relationship that’s broken. Out of toxic environments that are ever so painful to remain in and deal with. Why? There’s that question again.

Facing a Mirror
Let’s remember our discussion in the second article post, where we discussed why we hide, why we put on a mask, why we experience disappointments and suffer loneliness. What do we see when we look in a mirror? Who do seek out first when looking at group photographs that we know we’re in? Ourselves of course! We have a deep dissatisfaction with ourselves. We are deeply discontent with our own flaws, our shortcomings, our constant stumbling’s and repetitive stupid cycles that we find ourselves in. We beat ourselves up and just want to hide or stay quiet instead of putting ourselves out there again, for fear of being trampled on again or somehow rejected or misunderstood. Thus, we run from one place to another, seeking some form of relief, some form of escape, some form of an exit – a momentarily numbing of sort and hope it’ll all roll over and that the storm of life will pass us by.

Friends, allow me to be vulnerable with you for yet another moment. Having grown up in the Baptist community, and revolving around various flavors of Pentecostal, Charismatic, Mormon… you name it, denominations, I found that the common theme of the gospel had one same tone to it – focusing in on sin, my lack, my weakness, my blemishes. Why of course that’s why I kept seeing it more and more in myself because I was being taught that, and I heard that same teaching everywhere I turned. So naturally having grown in environment of “law” and “sin consciousness”, what do you suppose I did as I turned a teenager? Why yes of course, you guessed it – I rebelled. I ran. I fled religion and I despised it. Where do you suppose that brought me to? Why you’re all so very bright! To the pig pen of course, just as we read in scripture outlined in Luke 15: 11–32.

Orphan Issues
Most of us are probably familiar with the story of the prodigal son, as the christianese folk refer to it. If not, then I advise for you to go read through those passages. A very powerful display of multiple facets, with the main theme centered around the Father’s heart (which most people miss). In this story, we have 3 main characters. Most of us find ourselves as one of the two brother characters, with the younger being as my life was from teen years to late twenties. The older brother is the other side of us, typically we “spot” this brother in our spouse. The point here is that both parties missed the Father’s heart, His expression of love and kindness, mercy and abundance!

You see, the most important factor on how I go about living my life is based on how I see myself, for that is how I will live out my journey. What defines me? What gives me significance?

Am I a do’er or a human being? What takes place is: the way we see the world is determined by the way in which I see myself. We have different lenses by what we see ourselves through, typically defined by what other people say about us. But the reality is that we are defined “relationally” by our creator. The very essence of how we were created is based on who God created us to be. The Father has an Identity and a name for me, carved in His hands! He named me intentionally. It’s at the intimacy with God where we find out who we truly are, which is a byproduct with our relationship and intimacy with God. When you read Romans chapter 8, the whole context is about the mature sons of God rising up and taking our place as a Bride of Christ, for creation is longing for the revealing of the [mature] sons of God. We are to subdue the earth and expand the Kingdom of Heaven abroad!

Grace and Glory
“Yes, yes, I’ve heard this before” some of you may say. “Get to the point already!” Dear friends, the story of humanity remains the same. We’ve inherited a gift from the devil called “flesh” upon our physical appearance into this earth realm. But God the creator, the Father, also gave us a gift – His Son, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, and there is no greater joy besides truly being known by Him and in knowing Him, as my Savoir, my Lord! But I could not fully grasp that having grown up in a religious atmosphere because all I heard was “law” and all I saw was “sin”, and I couldn’t handle the truth of salvation and grace message because I was too self–centered, to proud, being the older religious brother just as well as the younger prodigal brother, therefore having to go through the experience of both, only to find myself in my lowest moments of life, “in the heart of the seas” as Jonah describes it, quoting psalms.

Now here me correctly, I am not reproving my upbringing or what I considered religion back then. This is exactly why we need the law, for its sole purpose was and still is to highlight how desperately we are in need of a loving saving God, a Father who looks out from His doorstep day by day, looking into the horizon, “maybe today my son will come home? Maybe today my daughter will return and open her heart to me once again?” For the law was and is a “school master, momentary tutor” that leads us unto Christ, the Messiah, the Savoir! “I called out to the LORD (YahWeh), out of my distress, and He answered me; out of the belly of Sheol (Hades) I cried and You heard my voice… The waters closed in over me to take my life, the deep surrounded me, weeds were wrapped about my head… I went down to the land whose bars closed upon me forever.” (Jonah 2:1–6)

When the prodigal son lost everything and was barely staying alive, not even able to eat the pigs’ scraps whom he was tasked to feed, he finally came to his senses and realized that even the servants at his Father’s house (who were the lowliest of people) ate and dressed better than where the son found himself currently. He found strength to return home and ask the father for forgiveness, and what do we read the Father does upon ‘sighting’ his son coming home, yet far off still in the distance? The Father RUNS! He lifts up His robe and Runs towards the son, to get to him first, before anyone else has a chance to label him or spew additional muck his direction. This act of the father was considered a shameful at in those days and culture, for a man in such age and position and status. But we must take notice that the Father doesn’t worry about that, for He knows Who He is and is not moved by what the people or culture thinks regarding Him. “Yet You brought up my life from the pit, O LORD, my God!” Jonah finishes in vs 6. This is the Father’s heart for me and you, my dear brother and sister. This is the Grace we’re offered on a daily basis, and this IS the display of Fathers Glory – His goodness, His kindness, His everlasting Mercy that extends to us Daily!

Offense and Blindness
But the religious leaders in Jesus’s time could not understand the heart of the Father either. We continue reading in Matthew 19 vs 7 “They shot back in rebuttal, “If that’s so, why did Moses give instructions for divorce papers and divorce procedures?” Remember, broken hearts always look for reasons and ways OUT. Vs 8–9 “Jesus said, “Moses provided for divorce as a concession [allowance] to your hard heartedness, but it is not part of God’s original plan. I’m holding you to the original plan, and holding you liable for adultery if you divorce your faithful wife and then marry someone else. I make an exception in cases where the spouse has committed adultery.” – We notice that divorce (division, separation) was not part of Gods original plan! Rather, He takes our hearts of stones that look for excuses for divorce and ways out, and puts in hearts of flesh which look for reasons to love instead! This is His mercy to us and towards us, and the invitation is to extend it to one another.

But let’s take note of what happens next as we read further, vs 10 “Jesus’s disciples objected, “If those are the terms of marriage, we haven’t even got a chance. Why get married then?” Even the disciples get upset and offended, and ask “if those are the terms of marriage, we’re stuck!” And here lies the main problem we face today, my friends. That’s the attitude most people that have struggles in marriages take on, instead of seeing the capability and potential of coming thru, they see “we’re stuck”, which is a very, very bad attitude and posture to take on! They’re looking from the outside instead of to their spouse.

Mature Sons and Daughters
Here then is the real callout to each and every one of us, the call for responsibility, the call for maturity. Let’s dive into the Teachers response to His disciples regarding their offense and fear. “But Jesus said, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude [capacity, fitness] and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked—or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.”

Wow! Did you catch that? If we want to experience the blessings, joys, and pleasures of marriage – we better make sure that we are mature in our personal walk with God first, for “the marriage union requires certain aptitude and grace. but if you think that you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, then go ahead, do it, get married.” Friends, this here has a tremendous impact of value that we absolutely Must grasp!

The Lord is putting out an invitation to each and every one of us to wake up from our slumber, to get out of our pig pit of blaming one another and waiting for your spouse to change, or worse, in your offense seeking a way out of the relationship, and to Lift our eyes unto the Lord! To get lost in the infinite eclipse of our God, our Creator, who calls us to Trust in Him, even as we barely hang on in this broken world, in the depth of our broken heart pains, as the weeds wrap around our heads and we feel like we cannot bear it anymore! As the waters surround us and our cries to heaven appear to be unanswered and not even heard!

But can you hear it? Can you hear Papa’s voice calling out to you “Son. Daughter. Peace to you.

I’m face to face with You. I hear you. I love you. I broke you, your flesh, your pride, and I offer to heal your heart with one magnificent move. Can you trust me? I want to replace that heart of stone with a new heart of flesh. Can you trust in my goodness? Can you be vulnerable with me and talk to me about your own heart, and not your mates’ issues? Can we be transparent with each other? Can you handle being in My presence without hiding, and truly believe Me that I do Not see you as shameful!? I do Not make you earn My trust, for you already have it, in Jesus Christ, therefore there is no more risk with you being hurt as you attempt to put your trust in Me again. I am always waiting for you with open arms. I never bring any rejection or accusations, those do not stem from Me. I cover your shame and weakness with My love, My Truth. I put My robe on you, and those people, those problems, those issues that you’re worried about – they will have to get through Me first before they can even attempt to touch you again!” Will you open up to Me again? My Truth? My Spirit? Can I be intimate with you?

Reward
Once we open our hearts back up onto the Lord again and truly set our gaze on Him, oh what rejoicing we will have in His presence! When grief and pain are banished and the crooked ways are straightened, then the dark things shall be plain for we’ll find ourselves face to face with Him in all His glory! Only then can we start to experience the intimacy of Holy Spirit’s fellowship and communion. This is the reward we have to set our eyes on, this is truly the one and the only ultimate satisfaction of true intimacy.

Remember, the entire motivation why one should get married is to Enlarge our lives. It’s not supposed to be a loss for anyone. God’s intent for marriage is to enlarge Each of us as beings. But when we walk around in an attitude of “I’m stuck”, we attract issues of being stuck, for you see – the light of the body is the eye, the way that we perceive things. So, if I perceive my marriage as “I’m stuck, it’s a trap, it’s hopeless” then that’s the direction I’ll be headed in because we always go where our vision is! But, when we understand that marriage is holy and it’s Gods intent to grow us and enlarge us through this union, then we’ll start to see and understand that it’s worth fighting for, as it makes us both individually and jointly more fruitful and productive in all things.

Understanding Commitments
Friends, marriage cannot be looked at as a contract (which states: do this as supposed to do or I’m out of here). Contracts are a document which restrict movement, sets boundaries, and limits; this is where we’re truly stuck, for the very definition of “contract” is “to make smaller, decrease in diameter, downsize”. But as we press further into the Fathers heart, we start to see and understand as He does. God sees marriage as a covenant, which says “I’m giving all of me to all of you. Everything that I have is now yours and everything you have is now mine. And because of that, everything that we do together will now be multiplied, enlarged, increased, more effective.”

It’s not easy, truly, it’s not, and often times it seems extremely hopeless, especially in the dark painful moments, when one spouse is done and wants nothing to do with you! But I promise.. and more so, God promises us that it’s all worth it in the end! Endure! That’s the call, endure till the end, don’t give up. For the best decision is to stick through it and grow in the true understanding of the purpose for the marriage in order to experience the fullness of it. God created in His image “male And female”. An attack on marriage is an attack on Gods people, but an attack on gender is an attack on the image of God, the image of God’s reflection on the Earth. That’s why we must realize that our differences is the beauty about us and marriage as a whole. That’s the mystery about it.

Clearing the Decks
We must get rid of Offense, and make allowance for each other’s faults since we’re both still in the flesh. Allow each other to make mistakes and forgive the offenses as the lord forgave us. We must let go of our fears and learn to trust and get through the aftermath together for the sake of our family’s health and prosperity. We must each turn to God and really Allow Him to deal with us personally, and obey Him, if our kids are ever to see a real–life testimony and example.

We’re all strong willed and stubborn in our own ways and we often take situations to extreme isolation and division, therefore strong–willed people take longer and break harder. There’s an account that we subconsciously hold against each other, and we feel like we cannot get out from under the weight of that account, because we are scared that if the debt is canceled by us, that we won’t get what we want and we will be unsafe or unstable in some way again. Jesus says “whosever sins you retain will be retained”. There is evidence of true forgiveness, because the weight of unforgiveness is spiritually, emotionally, and physically felt by others, and is also felt when that invisible weight is lifted off via true godly forgiveness. We forgive first so that the other person Can change – we can’t wait for their change first, holding forgiveness back until the other party earns it… we must give the benefit of doubt, it’s a step of confidence saying “I believe the best in you, I believe you want to love well”. For God says to us “I believe you want to change and I forgive you“, therefore enabling us to take the necessary step toward Him again, and toward our mate, over and over again and again.

Progress of Pain
Pain often brings a common response: disappointment, and we grapple with the reality of that pain and there’s this temptation for us to be ashamed, because we think we should be further along, as we start comparing, and we become embarrassed and ashamed as the enemy really begins to lie to us saying “where’s your god?!” Pain progresses, and the progression is first Pain>then Shame> then Isolation. So then we wall ourselves off and isolate, thinking that we’ll become free of that pain, but we find ourselves further broken and very lonely.

When there is offense, we close off our spirits, our hearts. The Corinthian church had closed their hearts becoming like the Dead Sea, not giving (like the Sea of Galilee). We create a household where no good thing can live or survive this way. But when we forgive, we reopen our hearts, our minds. This is fostering good rich soil. This doesn’t mean we open only IF I know and am assured that the other party will never do that offensive thing again, nor hurt us; but as Jesus teaches, we must be willing to be vulnerable and forgive unlimited amounts of time first, especially if we indeed see the other party sincere and trying, making honest efforts. This “forgiveness”, first and foremost, sets ME free from the poison within my own soul.

Call to Suffering
In 1st Peter chapters 2 and 3, Peter talks about HOW to respond in the middle of pain enlightening us about Christ’s path. “This is the kind of life you’ve been invited into, the kind of life Christ lived. He suffered everything that came His way so you would know that it could be done, and also know how to do it, step–by–step. Keep a clear conscience before God so that when people throw mud at you, none of it will stick. That’s what Christ did definitively: suffered because of others’ sins, the Righteous One for the unrighteous ones. He went through it all—was put to death and then made alive—to bring us to God.”

Then in chapter 4 Peter goes on to say: “Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusionthat God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner. Since Jesus went through everything you’re going through and more, learn to think like Him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you’ll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want. If you’re abused because of Christ, count yourself fortunate. It’s the Spirit of God and His glory in you that brought you to the notice of others. If they’re on you because you broke the law or disturbed the peace, that’s a different matter. But if it’s because you’re seeking the face of God, don’t give it a second thought. Be proud of the distinguished statusreflected in that name of Jesus!”

New Names and Identity
Let’s go back in history for a moment and take a look at the father of faith, Abraham. God changed both Abraham’s and Sarah’s names, and Isaac didn’t come until Sarah had a name change too! God added part of His own name to Abram and He became Abraham – the seed. Sarai also received part of God’s own name and became Sarah – the soil. God added to the beginning of Abram’s name (alpha) and to the end of Sarai’s name (omega) signifying that He is the alpha and omega, the entire covenant and union, holiness and wholeness, complete and completion. Sarai had to overcome her disbeliefs and learn patience, trust, and obedience just as Abraham did! You see, God sharpened Abraham, yet He softened Sarah. Abe became the seed and his mate became the softened soil. Together they became a union, a covenant, only when Sarah’s name was changed as well. Soil is what responds to the seed as the woman creates an environment of what he (the seed) needs to flourish in.

Ladies and gentlemen, notice the principles of heaven. When we give Actions of love first, the feelings follow. This is action of faith. This is the “husbands aught to love…” part of the command, God is commanding an action to the men whether we feel it or not. Men, I’m speaking to you! As we continue doing the acts of love from obedience to God first, the feelings will then come! The ACT becomes the substance that we hope for, that’s called faith. Ladies, this applies to you too. It’s God’s teachings, not mine.

Call to Ladies
Notice what Peter says in chapter 3: “The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. Cultivate your inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as “my dear husband.” You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.”

Call to Husbands
And to the husbands Peter speaks even stricter, highlighting a secret – can you spot it? “The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women, they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you are equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so that your prayers don’t run aground.” Did you catch that, men? What does aground mean? Let’s break it down. Aground means beached, stuck, hindered, stranded. Let me put it in layman terms – God won’t answer your prayers if you don’t learn how to lay your life down first, taking good care of your beautiful mate, honoring and delighting in her (for that is how God sees her and treats her). God see’s you as an equal value with her. Her so called “weakness” or “lack of your advantages” speaks primarily regarding her fragile heart, not only lack of physical strength or masculine capabilities. This means that when my wife is hurting, I mustn’t try to fix her, instead learn to listen to her! Empathy brings healing to another’s soul. Then, later, after she’s calm and healed and ready, only then can some perspective be added into the equation.

Again, in God’s eyes – we’re equal in value, but since we’re still here on earth, God established ranks and flow of authority to prevent chaos and destruction, that is why Husbands carry authority, because God wants direction given in the house and because they’re the lead servant. This authority that man is given must act out a decision of “what’s best for my wife”. It says “serve one another in the FEAR of the Lord!” The wife is “Gods daughter first”, then she’s my wife second. Let me help drive this imagery home. How would I behave if her daddy was in the room always watching us? How would I speak to her? How would I treat her? What if her daddy also had a gun with him?! C’mon men, honestly – you get the picture? A husband’s responsibility is to nurture and cherish his wife. Nurturing means “to give and provide what she needs to grow wholesome and healthy”.

The man is given strength in order to Highlight the grace, and beauty of the woman as he lifts her up! As we men grow first in the Lord ourselves, we can then learn how to “properly” motivate the wife out of the comfort of her boundaries which she puts up around herself, so that she too can learn to rely wholly on God first, His strength, truth, and purpose. This enables her to live out the call on her own life, to be a good wife, responsive to our needs. The bottom line is: when we sign up to marry someone, we sign up to serve them for the rest of our life. Both directions. For scripture states “serve one another in the FEAR of the Lord!”

Fear of the Lord
So, what exactly is Fear of the Lord? Fear is typically associated with or perceived as a negative aspect, and rightly so. However, when we’re talking about fear in reference to the Lord, the simplest way I can elaborate that for you is – fear of missing out, missing out on His love, blessings, and abundant life. This is the Only permittable fear we are called to have and display. A better way to understand this is to see it as Holy Fear, Holy Fear of the Lord, and it starts with obedience. However, obeying is not easy, but we have to see what obeying truly is, and how it starts.

Scripture teaches that “the fear of the lord is the beginning of knowledge and wisdom.” If and when I fear Him – only then will I KNOW Him. Fear is reverence and respect for Him. It’s that deep, profound understanding that He is the one true cause by which I live and breath and have my very being – He’s keeping me alive! But when we’re ignorant, deception awaits those who lack this holy fear of the lord, while intimacy is for those who draw near with holy fear (unconditional obedience to the desires of God).

Not only do we obey but we have the heart to fulfill His will! For you see, truthfully God loves me, and desires so very much (way more than I can even begin to imagine) to draw near to me and open Himself up to me – but we’re so incapable to handle Him, so therefore we must continue to grow in experiencing HisSpirit of Fear, and learn how not to tolerate any form of unrighteousness. Clement of Rome states “let us take the instance of Enoch who was found righteous in obedience and who was translated to heaven, and death was never known to happen to him. Obedience is the earmark of Gods pleasure!“

God’s Heart for Friendship
Let’s briefly cover the 5 manifestations of holy fear of the lord:

To obey Him instantly
To obey even if it doesn’t make sense
To obey even if it hurts
To obey even if we don’t see a benefit
To obey until completion (endure till the end)

In Psalm 25:14 we read “the secrets of the Lord is with those who fear Him, and He will show them His covenant!” Friendship with the Lord is reserved for those who Fear Him, who revere Him – with them does He shares His secrets. Fearing the Lord is to be Clean before Him, to be terrified to be without Him. Saying Yes to Him is saying No to the world and its pleasures and what society says. Proper fear of the lord is letting go of fear of man.

If we take careful notice, we’ll see that very few were called “friends” of God in scripture. Abraham was called to sacrifice that very thing he was promised, that very thing he loved the most – his dearest and most precious promised treasure: his son, his legacy. Abraham was tested in “fear of the lord”. Why, one may ask? Heavens treasures are above earthly. The fear of the lord is Gods treasure; the fear of the Lord perfects holiness in us, it refines our character, it molds our values, it sharpens our vision, and establishes capacity in our souls.

Power Twins in the Kingdom of Heaven
I believe that the final move of God will be the holy fear of the Lord. This is when the Lord reveals Himself to us as a blazing fire of holiness, and found in the center of that fire is Love!

Fear of the Lord is given to the humble. So let’s humble ourself before His presence and ask for it, for He answers the prayers of the righteous and humble. Fear of the Lord and humility are the power twins in the kingdom of God.

The reason why Jesus isn’t real to many Christians today is because they are not worshiping God in spirit and truth. Sadly, Obedience is not their priority. God’s directives and commands are only fulfilled when it isn’t interfering with our schedule or agenda. But Jesus’s words echo yet still today: “The person who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who [really] loves Me; and whoever [really] loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and reveal Myself to him [I will make Myself real to him].” John 14:21 Amp.

God refuses the proud, but He draws near to the humble and contrite in heart (who seeks righteous living). Thus, God sandwiches in humility with drawing near to Him. Let’s define humility for a second.

Humility:

Our obedience to God: submission. Jesus humbled Himself and became Obedient even to the point of death (He who suffers in the flesh ceases from sin)
Our complete and utter dependence on God. Joshua and Caleb believed the word of God, while the 10 assessed the situation using logic and reasoning and resided in the wrong kind of fear.
The way we view ourselves. Don’t try to impress others, be humble. Think of others better than of yourself, lookout for their best interest. Honor them above myself.

Friends, we can either choose to humble ourselves or God will do it – and that won’t be fun. Pray with me for a second: “God, please never allow your promotion and gifting on my life to go beyond the character that You’ve developed in me!”

Call of Wisdom unto Purity
God gave us marriage and family to show us the desire of His heart. His call to us is to be sensitive – for it’s a relationship, a living, ongoing, and organic interaction between two beings. Marriage and family are given to us to learn how to interact with His family as a whole, the Ecclesia! But we cannot do that in marriage, or in church, because of sin, because of shortcomings, falling short and being distracted by this world and its pleasures – and more precisely, by being led astray by our OWN lustful flesh: lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and pride of life.

How deep are you willing to go to uncover the mystery of truth and of intimacy? Can you dive deep with me now, deep into the dark parts of our hearts? Can we expose some of the darkest skeletons of our earthly experiences and tackle some giants head on? Are you willing to be vulnerable with me for the next few minutes? Listen, each of us need a new beginning, and most marriages need to be born again too, we all need a fresh start, another chance to wipe the slate clean and start over. So, as we dive deep into understanding Sophia’s (Wisdoms) call over our lives for purity, let’s keep that intent (a fresh restart) in the forefront of our sight, and leave the giants lying face down in the dust!

Sex Is As Much a Spiritual Mystery As a Physical Fact When Two Become One!
Sex. Yes Sex! Hey, I had to entice you first in order to draw your attention to the next topic, which is a very sensitive topic, but Must be addressed, for we’ve been robbed far more than enough!

I want to turn your attention for a moment to Adultery. In its basic form it can be viewed as disloyalty or unfaithfulness. As we mature, we understand the deeper meaning of it as deceitfulness, treachery, and betrayal. But because each and every person struggles with the same things of life, as we mentioned above, lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and pride of life, we are addressing it head on.

We all have a natural born tendency for pleasure. It’s a God inspired, most holy desire that’s fashioned deep within our souls and bodies. But, as we’ve already covered, since the enemy of God, Shaitan, the prince (but let’s not forget, fallen and defeated prince) of this world perverts all of God’s creation, he therefore attacks the most desirable and most pleasurable part of God’s creation – sexuality.

Cultural Perversion
Movies, books, and culture portrays to us a skewed and flawed version of love, intimacy, and sexuality. It’s not lust, it’s not about “taking our clothes off and being sexy”, rather it’s about creating a sexual legacy. The enemy always perverts it and tells us that “we’re not enough; we need Viagra; we need sex toys; we need porn; we need some worldly ungodly stimulation, we need drugs, etc. etc.” When there’s no pressure for performance, rather a deep inner connection between man and his spouse, a pure desire out of love, then there’s a full expression of spirit, soul, and body. The number one goal is for the woman to be satisfied, which ultimately brings her man a greater satisfaction, but for this to happen – there has to be proper communication beforehand and during love-making, without any fear, guilt, or shame of oneself nor of the other mate. For it’s the storms inside the marriage that destroy the marriage bed, not the storms outside of the home!

Gentlemen. Ladies. Scripture commands to abstain from all sin and unrighteousness, but it puts an extra heavy focus on purity, and each one of us is called to Flee sexual immorality. Just like they were commanded to flee Sodom and Gomorrah. Flee meaning to run in terror, because it has the extremely high potential and intention to destroy your life! For every other sin is outside the body, but adultery, is sin against the body itself! This is very serious indeed – no wonder it says FLEE!

Fleshly Lusts
This isn’t just a man struggle. Men struggle with visual porn while women struggle with textual porn, as our imaginations are triggered a bit differently. While men are in shackles of visual slavery, our lovely women companions are in bondage of dark novels that pervert their views of healthy relationships and sacred sexual interactions with their mates. All of this creates comparisons between what we see/read/imagine, and what we experience in life with our mates, and as we see a falling short of, we experience discontentment of what we call “imperfection” and “inability” of our mates, which ultimately steals all joy and destroys any kind of available intimacy! The sin against our own bodies is that we’ve conditioned ourselves to be unable to properly respond to our mates’ body without stimulants, our brain is rewired inappropriately by this world, so we turn to toys, pills, self–masturbation, etc.

I warned you – we’re getting deep now. I know this will open a can of ugly disfigured worms, but we must face these giants head-on and slay them now, today, for our culture and generation is deep in these addictions and do not even realize the culprit. How can we ever think or believe that we can assist our children, or impact positively the next generation if we’re enslaved to this darkness and wickedness?! Jesus mentioned something somewhere saying “Let the blind lead the blind”, but we’re not blind, we’re not sons and daughters of darkness any longer, we’re sons and daughters on LIGHT! It’s time to awaken from our slumber and understand what’s taking place behind the scenes! Why are we seeking self–pleasure? ‘Cuz we’re self–absorbed. Why are we self–absorbed? We’ve already covered this in great detail in today’s article.

Cultural Downfall
Fornication, immortality, homosexuality, and adultery – all violate the Genesis plan of one man, one woman, one heart, for one purpose. Hebrews says “let the state of being married be held in honor, pertaining to be of exceptional value, costly, precious to all. Let the sexual bed [life] be undefiled, pure, for God will judgewhen a man or woman engages in any sexual adulteration, which defiles and dishonors their marriage bed” (when we bring porn, sex toys, or other forms of defilement into our sexual relationship). Listen, if you are unable to sexually stimulate one another, it’s not a lack of excitement that’s the issue, it goes far deeper than that. It’s a lack of connection between one another, lack of trust, lack of honor and respect, which all ultimately stems from all those same lacks towards the Lord! Recall the holy fear of the Lord…

So then, we find that what is sacred between two people in privacy gets polluted in the masses. Gentlemen, Solomon teaches us the wisdom and call to purity in Proverbs saying “drink water flowing from ‘your own’ well. Shall your water be scattered among the streets?” It’s for us (one man and his wife) alone. “Let your fountain be blessed, be intoxicated always with Her love! Why should you be intoxicated with a strange woman?” Ladies, this message is just as equal to your hearts for purity. Again, porn is porn, whether it’s visual or textual, adulteration is wicked in the sight of the Lord. Jesus brought us a very good simplification of this subject in saying “if you even think lustfully of a woman in your heart, you’ve already committed adultery with her in your heart”!

Roman’s chapter 1 says that there will be a shift in sexual perspectives. Unnatural desire and indecent acts are a result of a culture that exchanges the truth of God for a lie! And that which is completely unnatural and perverted is now being accepted publicly, thus they are given into their perversions, entangled in all kinds of ungodly activities, and get sick and die in all kinds of ungodly sexual or otherwise diseases/ways. Dear reader, do you realize the utmost importance of this subject? And 90% of believers are entangled in this mess – this wicked and deadly, evil demonic participation. The culture may be shouting to us via TV shows and novels that ‘yes, you can worship God but act like us’, but in Ezekiel 20:30 God gives us a stern warning expressing His love and desire for us asking us the following question: “would you defile yourselves the same way that your fathers did?” and then through Paul “I am jealous for you with Godly jealousy, for I promised you to the love of Christ, but I’m afraid just as Eve was deceived so you will be too.”

New Beginning
GOOD NEWS! You can be free, but you have to be intentional and desire it! Very intentionally lift your eyes back unto the Lord. Believe and Understand that God created the human beings God–like, God character, reflecting Gods nature and holiness, and He blessed them to prosper, to reproduce, to take charge, and to be responsible Kings and Queens of this world. Male and female He created them, together, and He said “it is Good!” For He sees our destiny and where we are headed, the potential in our hearts, and He is far more in the future than He is interested in our past. He’s going to present us as a chastened, glorified, beautiful bride. He makes ALL things new. Not renovated, but New! This has always been His heart, and will remain this way.

It begins with what we say, as we can see in the Babel tower story. They got “together in union of mind and became one people with one heart, language, and Nothing that they proposed to do will now be impossible for them!” When God joins us together as mates, we become one flesh. What happens when we, together, as one flesh start speaking a new language? We have to choose intentionally, be strategic about it: are we going to speak the language of earth or God’s language of heaven, truth?

Speaking Heavenly Language
Earth says divorce, heaven says union. Earth says Rejection when heaven pronounces acceptance. Earth says “You owe me” yet Love proclaims “I freely give.” Earth says Vengeance but Grace speaks forgiveness. Earth says “I won’t be your slave” when Jesus sayd “I’ll be your servant.” Earth says “I despise your weakness” when Truth shouts “I see your potential and my love covers it.” Earth says “You don’t meet my needs” as our Lover of the soul whispers “I want to meet yours!”

As long as there is division in marriages, there is no evidence that God sent his Son, because He loved the world, and we have to understand that the love between my wife and me, declares God’s glory to this earth. That’s the battle, us being one in heart, mind, soul, and body. We may be walking in one “flesh” but are we truly one? It ultimately manifests in what we believe, speak, and pray about.

Heavenly Promises
We can find all the promises of God line up with the purposes of heaven. He will be glorified! There’s nothing stopping Him. The questions is “would we like to participate in this Glory with Him, together as a holy and influential power couple” in todays age? In Jesus‘s last night on the earth, He decides to pray in front of His disciples so that they know what’s important to Him, and He prays not only for them, but for those who believe through them. Jesus was praying for not only his disciples but for me too, and for you. Jesus prayed for the witness of us and often I struggle with that thought “who in the world would believe me or hear my heart or listen to my words?”, constantly evaluating and looking at my life, my shortcomings and imperfections.

Yet Jesus goes on to say that the goal for all of us is to “become one heart, and one mind just as Jesus and the father are one entirely.” So that we may be 100% in one mind with Jesus and God, so that the world could believe that in fact, just as Jesus was sent by God, so am I. So are you! The same glory that Jesus received, He also gave us, so that we may be unified and together as one as God and Jesus, so that we could mature in this oneness (as husband and wife) and give this godless world evidence that Jesus was sent, and that God loved us, as Jesus, in the same way, loving us, and God is sending us as Jesus out into this darkness, a world full of wolves and wild beasts!

Harmony of Unity
What the enemy fears the most is when the husband and wife become unified as one in spirit, soul, and body, and start speaking the heavenly language as one. Whenever we are in agreement, we will flourish and see miracles, but when we are in disagreement or in division, we will brawl, scuffle, and struggle, thus not seeing any fruitfulness in those specific areas or topics of life. The enemy’s goal is to get us divided in marriage, relationship, and intimacy, in order that we do not speak as one – therefore, we cannot see any dominion or fruitfulness in our life that God has prepared for us. The real battle is staying one, walking as one, and speaking as one!

If the question arises “why is Marriage being attacked?”, we must realize that nothing gets attacked unless it’s threatened by it. So, therefore the enemy is attacking the definition of marriage, because he understands that the power of marriage creates a power of legacy, creates a power of relationship with God! This is why it is incredibly important that my language must build up my wife, for we each are looking for that affirmation from one another! She wants to know she feels needed and I must investigate and find outwhat is her love language, how does she interpret my expression of love? I must also be intentional loving, displaying, and speaking love even around the children, because the kids need to see an example and know that it is normal to lift each other up and affirm each other constantly! We are modeling truth andaffection. We protect one another when we love each other well, because then we aren’t looking for that affirmation and love elsewhere, in this world and the way of this world! Bring the sincere and pure devotion of Christ into the bedroom, Jesus doesn’t get locked out of the bedroom during your intimacy time, He comes in! He must! It’s only then that you get the fullness of the designed pleasure, satisfaction, and joy!

Creation Mystery
Men are very black and white; we create the borders and lines of a picture. Women bring in the colors andcolor in the pictures. The important thing is to notice the differences, yet still be ONE! Men bring structure, they guard the house, they have external strength and must extend that strength to the wife. Women bring Nurture to the relationship and family. For structure without nurture is dead, just as nurture without structure cannot be multiplied.

We are different but that doesn’t make it bad, that is our completion, making us whole, complimentingeach other via our differences, which make us stronger as One and unified IN ONE PURPOSE. Both of us must stay focused on the LORD, for a 3–prong cord cannot easily be broken. 2 are better than 1, so when we’re married it’s a great thing, but we need a mission involved, which is our 3rd cord, so we must seek out where we can unite.

Mission Field
The life priority for a believer is that God is first, but “God” and “ministry” isn’t the same, so the work of the ministry cannot be first. It’s our relationship with God, then Wife, then the children, then the mission, whether in government or business or another sphere of influence. If we don’t share a mission sphere, then we can still come into each other’s world, still be interested and involved in different facets, starting with appreciation and emotional support. We must also have Recreation in the relationship. We need Rest just as God created it for us, so we must also find ground where we can recreate together as mates. Spend activities that we both can entertain time together in each other’s company. Even if I don’t enjoy an activity as she does, still learn to be joyful in spending that time with her. But also have those group of guy friends (for men), and girlfriends (for ladies) whom you can hang with, because we cannot find fullness in each other in all aspect of life. God designed us to have many relationships of life in various forms.

Growing on the topic of mission, let’s take on a new perspective of the word “submission”. Submission is “under assignment”, so when we find out WHO God has put us with, then we don’t need to worry about the WHAT, because that Who will build me, refine me, and teach me – bringing out the best from within me! We may not have a frame of reference for what we are doing, but we must know WHO we are doing it with. Missions are tied to purposes, so submission means that we are in an assignment together as spouses, to raise children that are godly, but first to become godly children ourselves, then becoming personal and public world influencers.

Healthy Governing Body
Proverbs 14:1 informs us that “a Wise woman builds a house.” Men, pay attention – for a wise man Builds the Woman, enabling her to build the house. As we build each other up, we enable each other’s growth and enlarge each other’s life, improving every aspect of participation and involvement of life.

Ephesians 5 mentions how “Christs Love makes the church whole, His words evoke her beauty. Everything He does and says is designed to bring the Best out of her!” Men, even though my wife may not believe me at first, I must KEEP speaking the truth in love to her, so that she may grow in every way like Christ. I must keep sowing in faith. I must live that truth first though! The purpose is to bring forth spiritual children, so that all those we speak truth in love may become more Christ like. We can speak truth in revenge, and hurt them, or we can choose to forgive and pray until that Love wells up inside of me, and only then go to her and speak truth in Love, gentleness, and kindness, for this is what causes true healthy growth and prosperity in your wife, and brings fruitfulness and abundance of joy, peace, and prosperity!

PROCLAMATIONS:
As we wrap up today’s article, I invite each of you to read through the following proclamations and adapt them to heart, and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and the opportunity to express this to your mate of life in a similar fashion, in sincerity, truth, love, and gentleness. This has to be meditated upon and become part of your heart, part of your life, as you comprehend God’s intention and plan for you, for your spouse, and for your marriage. Don’t rush this, seek His face individually and ask the Holy Spirit to orchestrate an opportunity for the discussion to take place, and for you to share your heart with your lovely mate, your partner of life.

Men (to their wives):

“Honey, please forgive me for using my strengths to oppress you, holding you down.
Forgive me for not speaking to your virtue, your beauty, your wisdom and kindness.
Forgive me for not creating a safe environment for you to flourish in.
Forgive my selfishness in our conversation, time together, and even in bed.
I believe that God can heal, restore and Glorify our union.
I believe in you and I believe I can do anything through Him who strengthens us.
We will take dominion, we will multiply, and we will be very fruitful together.
In the name of Jesus, I look forward to spending quality time with you.”

Women (to their husbands):
“Forgive me for the times I’ve used my strengths to point out your weaknesses.
From now on, I am going to use my words to build your life.
I’m going to multiply your strengths.
I am going to be the best thing that ever happened to you.
Forgive me for the times I was not a safe place for you to deposit your heart.
I believe God can make all things new, I will be a faithful guardian of your heart.
I choose to love, I choose to forgive, this is a new day filled with mercy and truth.
Let’s love and dream big together again!”

Friends, today we finish with a blessing we find in Psalm 112 which is the Lord’s proclamation over our lives and marriages, and over our next generation, and theirs.

“Hallelujah!
Blessed be the man, blessed be the woman, who fear God,
Who cherish and relish His commandments,
Their children are robust and vigorous on the earth,
And the homes of the upright—how blessed are they!
Their houses brim with wealth and a generosity that never runs dry.
Sunrise breaks through the darkness for good people—
God’s grace and mercy and justice!
The good person is generous and lends lavishly;
No shuffling or stumbling around for this one,
But a sterling, solid, and a lasting reputation.
Unfazed by rumor and gossip,
Heart ready, trusting in God,
Spirit firm, unperturbed,
Ever blessed, relaxed among enemies.
They lavish gifts on the poor—
A generosity that goes on, and on, and on.
An honored life! A beautiful life!
Someone wicked takes one look and rages,
Blusters away but ends up speechless.
There’s nothing to the dreams of the wicked. Nothing.”